I'm not a Knicks fan, so part of me sitting here, watching James Dolan on the Mike and the Mad Dog show, is giddy. The idea that this team has been, and will continue to be run by a Batman and Robin(Isiah Thomas) team of epic stupidity is downright satisfying.
But I can feel the pain of the Knicks' fan. I can't imagine rooting for a team that is helmed by such a complete asshole. A man that has NO CHANCE of actually getting this franchise out of the despair they are in.
Here are some highlights: Dolan would make the decision to give Isiah Thomas an extension knowing then what he knows now. That includes a collapse of epic proportions, losing 12 of 15 games and being blown out by teams left and right. By the way, losing to a banged up Trail Blazers' team by more than 5 points is getting blown out.
Dolan believes the team is on the right track. A team that is about to have its second consecutive 50 loss season. A team that has NO true elite talent, and no true team cohesiveness no matter how much they like hanging with each other.
He would only think about bringing in Jerry West, who has decided to leave the Grizzlies by July 1, if Isiah Thomas asked him to bring him in. That means that one of the greatest minds in the history of basketball would only get a call from Dolan if the dumbest man in basketball okay'd it. So, to put that in perspective, James Dolan believes in Thomas' IQ more than he believes in Jerry West. That is a good basketball man right there.
He believes the trade for Eddie Curry was the right move. First, Mike and Mad Dog are giving wayyyyyy too much credit to Eddie Curry. Dolan just said that Curry was the type of player you "can build a team around" and neither Mike or Chris challenged him on that statement. Curry: nice player, has a good offensive game, a big man with very refined moves. On the other side, this is a man who, if swimming in the ocean, might be studied by marine biologists looking for new whale species, is 7 foot tall and well over 300 pounds yet couldn't rebound the ball against Candice Parker, and he couldn't defend a small child in a wheel chair. This isn't some sort of franchise player, and the Knicks gave up TWO first round lottery picks. To repeat, Dolan thinks it was the right move.
The discussion has revolved around whether the Bulls, with the Knick's pick again this year, could end up with Oden or Durant. The chances of that happening are pretty far fetched (something around a 6% chance). But do the Bulls have to land one of the two best prospects in the last 25 years to count that trade as a bad one? In one corner we have Eddie Curry, a man with a heart condition, both literally and figuratively, who was jettisoned out of Chicago on the first bus available. In the other corner we have the Bulls and Tyrus Thomas, a supremely gifted athlete who has begun to come on strong at the end of the season, and a lottery pick in perhaps the deepest draft in years. So, let's say the Bulls don't land Oden or Durant, but they land Cory Brewer or Mike Conely Jr. Who would you rather be in that scenario, the team with Eddie Curry or the team with Tyrus Thomas and either Brewer or Conely? The Curry deal is perhaps one of the worst in the history.
Dolan seems like an amicable guy, a guy who wants to win but is just too stupid, in the sports world, to make it happen. He also seems to have an afinity for Thomas, one that makes utterly no sense. But for Knicks fan's who were hoping to hear some "Isiah is on thin ice" language from Dolan, it aint comin and it didn't today.
But From the Free Seats has obtained some information that may shed light on why Dolan, an obviously shrewd business man (who is evidently running MSG into the ground) has made a commitment to Isiah Thomas and the current Knicks' strategy for success. Documents obtained from sources inside James Dolan's head (little men with hammers) give us an idea of some of the REAL reasons for the current plan in place.
*Isiah Thomas has an agreement to channel Red Aurbach for the entire 2007-2008 season. The deal was made before Red passed on, and Isiah gave up six number one picks in the next few years for the right to do it. So, next year, when Thomas is sucking on a cigar and making intelligent changes at halftime, we know what's really going on.
*James Dolan, as a child, received a luke warm Avian bottle of water from the concession stand, which was brought to him by a vendor who looked him in the eyes, while attending a Knicks' game. Since then, Dolan's goal in life has been to sink Madison Square Garden and destroy all the tradition associated with it. Privately, he refers to Thomas as his "ace in the hole."
*John Paxson, the GM for the Bulls, has secretly entered Isiah Thomas Anonymous, where GM's who have raped Thomas over the years in deals come to talk about the guilt of taking advantage of the dumbest man in America. Paxson, at a recent meeting, in a moment of extreme emotion, vowed to send whatever number 1 pick they get directly to the Knicks for a case of Natural Ice. Unfortunately, Thomas has vowed to send David Lee and Channing Frye to deliver the case, which will allow them to evoke the little used "defection" clause that is automatically included in the contracts of any player playing for a team controlled by Thomas.
*Eddie Curry is going to cu 6 pounds of steak and 4 pounds of bacon out of his daily breakfast, which will allow him to slim down to a svelte 360 pounds before next Fall. But, because of his new low cal breakfast diet, Curry will be overcome with hunger pains during games, leading to him eating Allen Iverson during a Knicks, Nuggets contest in February. Carmelo Anthony, in response, will immediately punch a cheerleader and run out of the arena.
*The marketing strategy of "Pitchfork's Night at the Garden" will actually spur the team on to one of the best beginnings in team history, and force Isiah Thomas to think of a new disguise for most home games, until a medieval rap joust between Jay Z and P-Diddy breaks out at a Knicks/Nets game, somehow resulting in numerous gun fights. Jason Kidd, in response, will hit is former wife and run out of the arena.
*Stephon Marbury will play inspired basketball through December as Dolan promises to have Pacman Jones "make it rain" every time he scores more than 50. After a few months out of the NFL though, Jones will come to the arena everyday with real garbage in his garbage bag, making his "make it rain" promise less enjoyable for Marbury. The two will grow closer, however, as Jones tries to pitch his idea for an NBA sponsored"Smack a Stripper Tuesdays" to be held at each venue.
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