So, who would you WANT to see named on that 104 list?

Okay, let's be honest here, the Yankees have been hit hard by the steroid scandal. It seems like the juice was being passed around pretty freely by a lot of guys who came through the Bronx, from Chuck Knoblauch to Gary Sheffield, with a little Roger Clemens and Alex Rodriguez sprinkled in between.

But we all KNOW there are a lot of other guys out there that have been pumping full of the muscle milk, so let's just put it all out there. Which guys would you LIKE to hear have been doing steroids? I know, I know, none of us should WANT anyone to be caught, right? It's a terrible stain on the game of baseball and it hurts the credibility of the sport, no matter who it is.

Bulls**t.

I want someone else to have to have some sort of press conference with one of their players out there swinging. Yeah, that's right, that's how I roll. If the Yanks are gonna be smacked around constantly, I want blood on the other end. There will be blood damnit and it won't all be pinstriped.

So, here is a list of a few players I wouldn't mind seeing on that final list, from first to last.

Curt Schilling - This is the gold medal. This is the ultimate award and would be ultimate proof in this world that God does, indeed, answer prayer.

This scumbag is constantly running his freakin mouth. Anytime someone hit a homer off of him, Schilling was out there complaining about the "steroid" culture that was costing him precious records. Then, when Congress came a calling, big boy Schilling couldn't remember his own name, let alone how many of his colleagues might be juicing.

Wouldn't it just be so wonderful if it turned out that bloody sock had more to do with roid injections than broken stitches? That crap stain of a Web site he runs would be fun reading a few days after the news broke, wouldn't it?

I think Dan Shaunessy and I would be doing the dance of joy from the Perfect Strangers sitcom if Curt's name ever came up.

David Ortiz - This wouldn't be good for the game but it would KILL the Red Sox fan, and that, my friends, is what this is all about.

I know Big Papi seems like a nice guy, but he went from a scrap heap player left for dead by the Twins to one of the most feared hitters in the majors. No way he was juicing, right? Not a chance. I mean, at 26 with the Twinkies he hit 20 homers, drove in 75 RBI and played in 125 games. The next year, with the Sox, in 128 games, he hit 31 homers, drove in 101 RBI, batted .288, by far his career high, and slugged .592, which was 92 points higher than his all-time best. His next three years he hit 41, 47, and 54 homers. That, after having never been able to break through with the vaunted Twins team.

But, like I said, there aint no chance he ever did a Jose Canseco workout routine, right? Big Papi? How about Big Injection In The Ass-i?

Carl Pavano - I know this would techincally be another Yankee, but wouldn't it be the perfect end to the perfect career in New York?

I don't have a lot of good reasons why this would make sense, just simply that he is the worst human being on the face of the earth and he SHOULD have been doing steroids. Plus, it would be fun to think that even a chemical eventually rejected Pavano. While the juice was making guys like Ken Caminiti an MVP, it was making Pavano a disabled list all-time great. You get the sense that the juice got into his system, looked around and thought "Damn, I couldn't sleep at night if I helped this schmuck become a star."

If there is any list out there that has cheaters on it, it just wouldn't be complete without one Carl Pavano.

Carlos Delgado - I'm not a big fan of Delgado. From his insistance at not recognizing the Star Spangled Banner as a "protest" to U.S. actions overseas (want to really protest, how about you turn down all those U.S. dollars you get every month?) to his diappearing act at the end of bad games in the Mets clubhouse, forcing others to for the team, I just can't stand the guy. Plus, he fits the profile. Can't move, just hits homers, is starting to experience a strange "drop" in production later in his career, suddenly has a resurgent year outta nowhere. Hell, he's like the Webster Dictionary definition of suspicious behavior. And, he's a mouthy Met. He NEEDS to be on that list.

Mike Piazza - I know Mikey is outta baseball right now, but I want to see him on that list for one simple reason: it will prove that you can, actually, spot these guys. We all know Piazza was doing something, don't we? You don't think that is fair? I don't care. The rumors about Piazza have been around for years and years and I think it is pretty obvious that where there is smoke there is fire.

Plus, I think it would be fun laying that bombshell at the feet of the Mets fan, who somehow seems to skate on the fact that Kirk Rodamski, the steroid guru of the East Coast, was a clubhouse guy for THEIR team. It seems kinda odd that Captain Kirk would be distributing roids all around the majors, except for the clubhouse in which he actually worked. If I had to guess, I would imagine that Piazza was one of Kirk's better customers. Plus, it would explain his offensive mullet haircut. Even his hair was juicing at that point.

A couple of honorable mentions would have to be Dustin Pedroia, because I loath everything about him, Theo Epstein, who I would prefer were caught dealing on Lansdowne Street like some kinda junky, Ozzie Guillen, Kenny Rogers, Joe Buck, and Tim MCarver. If any of those names are on the now infamous 104 list, I would be happy. Also, I would be pumped if Selena Roberts were caught in a hotel room with about 10 pounds of crack. I don't blame her for breaking the story, that's her job, but, seriously, is there a more useless book to be writing than a bio-piece on a egocentric sports star millionaire whose only contribution to society has been hitting home runs and sleeping with questionable women? Does anyone really care about A-Rod's Madonna affair? Enough to buy a $35 book? And, remember, Ms. Roberts is the reporter who, while working for the NY Times, essentially tried and convicted the Duke lacrosse players of rape. Turns out, the kids didn't rape anyone. Selena's response? No apology, no remorse, some twisted excuse that "well, other bad things happened that night." There is something terribly wrong with you if wrongly accusing someone of rape seems justified as long as there were some other questionable actions taking place, like cat calls and some racial comments.

So, yes, an added bonus to the list would be a picture of Ms. Roberts on the cover of the NY Post, getting carted out of some cheap motel, bags of crack cocaine following closely behind.

Ah, to dream.